


Ignorance Is Bliss

by bloodred_ander



Series: Brain Dead [1]
Category: Football RPF
Genre: Alternate Universe - Zombie Apocalypse, Angst, M/M, Rough Sex, Unrequited Love, Violence
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-10-24
Updated: 2016-10-23
Packaged: 2018-04-24 03:40:53
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 3
Words: 12,922
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4904221
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/bloodred_ander/pseuds/bloodred_ander
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>"You know why he's so pissed off, right?"</p><p>"No. I really, really don't know what his <em>damn</em> problem is!"</p><p>"...... He's in love with you."</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> I just needed an excuse to write some Cressi smut and this seemed like the perfect one. But I didn't want to write _just_ smut sooooo I added some plot!
> 
> Enjoy :)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Cris is still a few feet away from them, yelling at the top of his lungs and Leo only just pays attention to his words.
> 
> "What the fuck are you just standing there for?! Run, DAMN IT! _RUN!_ "

"I fucking hate this," Leo mumbles to himself, clutching the PLR-16 that's in his right hand even tighter. He loves it; gas operated, semi-automatic, saved his ass quite a few times. And he doesn't even have a license for it. Not like that's gonna matter; if a cop comes up to him now, it'll probably be to snack on him, not to check if the weapon he's holding is licensed or not. But yeah, whatever, he just likes to pretend he still follows rules and regulations like any good citizen would and that breaking them would have serious consequences. It doesn't matter and it's honestly quite foolish, but pretending like his life has some sort of direction feels nice. It fills him with a sort of ridiculous hope that things just may go back to the way they were before. It never will, he knows, but pretending feels nice.

"Sorry Leo," Cris tells him though he looks anything but. "We can't risk you going with us in the state you're in." He holsters his shotgun and steps out of the car, kicking the door shut behind him. Leo groans in frustration and flops back into the passenger seat. David lets out an exasperated sigh from beside him in the driver's seat, opening the glove compartment to pull out his revolver. He checks the barrel, satisfied once he sees it's loaded.

"I just have a sprained ankle," Leo whines. "It's not like I'm fucking paralyzed from the waist down or something. I can walk!"

"Hobbling around using a shotgun as a makeshift crutch isn't actually considered walking," David tells him gruffly. "Look Leo, I know you hate feeling helpless but frankly, I think that you staying in the car is much more preferable to you becoming a human burrito." He steps out of the car, slamming the door shut a little more forcefully than he should, and walks over to Cristiano.

"He's right, Leo," Cris tells him. "We don't know how many of those bastards are in there. And accidents happen; your sprained ankle is a testament of that." Leo flips him off and Cris chuckles, mock saluting him. Leo rolls up the window as he watches David and Cris make their way across the parking lot and into the supermarket. The place is surprisingly devoid of zombies; only two had been milling around when they pulled up in the parking lot. Cris had taken care of them efficiently. Two bullets right through the face, one for each of them. Yeah, it was a little messy, but it got the job done. And besides, who the hell was complaining? Leo sure as hell wasn't. Survival of the fittest and all that crap.

Leo huffs out a breath, shifting a little in his seat when he feels his ass growing numb. He'd rather die before ever admitting it, but he's scared. He always is when David and Cris leave him alone while they go on their raids. Heck, he's scared even when he's with them, worried that the very next moment might just be his last. Leo knows they're right; he'd be more trouble than actual help if he were to go with them in his current state. He knows that they're only looking out for him but that still doesn't mean he likes being left alone. Curse his damn ankle! He already feels inadequate enough, what with Cris and his efficiency with weapons and David with his over-the-top bravado and gruff demeanor that Leo's sure intimidates even zombies. All Leo's good at is hurting himself, screaming, and wasting an entire magazine before actually shooting something to save his life. Talk about ego bruising.

Leo shifts a little more until he's comfortable enough, puts his gun on the dashboard and then turns on the radio for lack of something better to do. At first, all he gets is static. Then he changes the channels until he comes across the one playing - as he'd dubbed it - the _'message of hope'_. He listens to it play over and over, feeling elated and dejected all at once.

_Alaska._

That's where they're headed. According to the message, it's the only place the virus hasn't spread, something to do with sub-zero temperatures. Leo doesn't really care much about all that scientific mumbo-jumbo; all he cares about is the fact that he, he and his friends will be safe there. No fighting to live just another day, no sleeping with one eye open, and no worry of being left behind in case a zombie bites you, which is a very likely thing to happen. It was a fresh start; a place to feel safe again, a place to call home. Most days, that's all Leo yearns for. And apart from all that, Leo's also going because of his brother. He'd been in Canada when the virus broke out and Leo hadn't heard from him after, but he's hoping that his brother made it to Alaska and is perfectly okay. It's a little too much to hope for, but some days; it's exactly what Leo needs to keep pushing himself forward.

Leo takes out his phone, no signal, that's nothing new. He sighs and opens his image gallery, and that's nothing new either. He scrolls through countless pictures until he finds the one he's looking for; a picture of his brother and him with their parents. His eyes burn a little and his heart feels extremely heavy, but Leo still lets a smile stretch his lips as he recalls the memory of when the picture was taken; his last summer vacation at home, with his family. He's so busy feeling nostalgic that the sudden sound of gunfire startles him. He jumps up, and then curses loudly as the movement causes his injured ankle to throb with pain. Leo whips his head around and stares at the entrance of the supermarket, internally debating on whether he should just stay in the car and wait for Cris and David to return or whether he should hobble out of the car and go and see if they need help. The gunshots sound extremely loud in the silence, and so does the sound of Leo's own heart beating. The time passes agonizingly slow as Leo waits for his two friends to return, all the while praying, to whatever god will listen, that nothing happens to them. And just when he feels like he can't take it any longer, that he's going to go in and help in any way he can, Leo sees David burst through the doors and sprint across the parking lot.

But he doesn't feel relief like he should; Leo's heart sinks to the bottom of his stomach because it's just David. Cris is nowhere to be seen. Leo rolls down the window so that he can yell across the parking lot, his voice cracking mid-question.

"David, what's going on?" he doesn't mean to sound so terrified but he can't help it. Not when he can see David sprinting towards the car and hear the sound of gunfire ripping through the otherwise silent morning, indicating that Cris is still in there. Alone and in possible danger. Leo's heart lurches at the thought, and even more so because of David's forced silence.

"David!" Leo yells, his tone a mixture of fear, anger and confusion all at once. "David, what's.... Where the fuck is Cris!?"

David still doesn't answer. He just runs up to the car; opening the door on the driver's side and getting in. Leo starts to panic.

"Where's Cris?" Leo faces David and watches in horror as he starts up the car. More gunshots ring out. Leo glances back at the doors of the supermarket and he still can't see Cris. David's continued silence isn't helping either. Leo suddenly can't help but assume the worst. David had made it known that he disliked Cristiano from day one. What if David was trying to get rid of him? He had suggested it some time back after all.

Leo feels his throat closing up, his heart thudding erratically within his chest. _No_ he thinks _No! David can't do this! I won't let him!_ Turning back to glare at his best friend, Leo spits out a hateful "Fuck you" even as he moves to open the door and get out of the car. But his throbbing ankle makes him move slower and before he even knows it, David lunges for the door and pulls it shut, making Leo fall back into his seat. Leo growls at him, even as David starts pulling out of the parking lot.

"David, I s-" Leo doesn't expect the way David suddenly rams a fist into the dashboard. He flinches despite himself. Despite the realization that yes, David is indeed making off without Cris. That David, Leo's _best friend_ , is actually doing something so unimaginable.

"Goddamnit Leo," David yells but doesn't look at him, his voice sounds strained. "He stayed behind to give us a chance to escape! There, inside.... there's too many of them. Both of us wouldn't have been able to make it out... so he chose to stay back, okay? It was his choice! He just told me to get you out of here, to keep you safe and that's what I'm fucking doing."

Leo doesn't believe a word of what David's saying. Sure this sounds like something Cris would do; make the heroic last stand, the kind they show you in movies. But there's something off about the way David's behaving. The way his hands are clutching the steering wheel a little too tight, the way the muscles in his jaw twitch, the way he's not even looking at Leo but just keeping his gaze fixed on the empty parking lot as he makes his way out of it. David may be terrified by what he saw in there, but Leo's known him for years so it isn't too hard for him to tell that David's lying. Without thinking, Leo lunges for the steering wheel.

Everything kind of happens too fast after that.

David tries to push him off but Leo doesn't let go, he's too fucking angry to care about anything. This also includes his sprained ankle because while the car keeps swerving around madly, Leo tries to jam the brakes, barely registering the pain shooting through his leg over the adrenalin. David keeps yelling at him to let go, he keeps trying to push Leo off, but Leo gives as good as he gets; he manages to knock David in the jaw with his elbow, which seems to startle David and he accidently tightens his grip on the steering wheel. He yanks a little too forcefully on the wheel; the car lurches to the left and before either of them can do anything, it slams into one of the many broken-down cars that are gathering rust in the parking lot. The force of impact is so strong that Leo slams into the door while David ends up half on his lap, knocking the air out of him. He lets out a cry as he feels white hot agony run through his shoulder. Great, another injury is just what he needs. Leo brings his left hand up to gingerly feel his right shoulder; nothing feels broken - which is a good sign - but it still hurts like a bitch. The pain is all he can register for a while until he hears David's soft worried voice. Then all he can feel is crippling anger.

"Leo? Leo, oh my god! Are you okay?" David moves off of Leo and tries to take a look at his shoulder but Leo pushes him away. Leo doesn't want his concern. Not anymore.

"This is all your fault David," Leo spits out. "This wouldn't have happened if you weren't trying to leave Cris behind!"

"Damn it, Leo I told y-" David tries explaining but Leo cuts him off. He can't believe David is still lying to him.

"Bullshit! David, we've been friends for _years!_ You think I can't fucking tell when you're lying?" Leo yells so loud that David visibly jumps back, startled. Leo isn't done; he has so much that he wants to tell David, but right at that moment something catches his eye and he turns his head to look out the window. His heart skips a beat and Leo feels an immense wave of relief wash over him.

It's Cristiano. _His_ Cris. He looks frantic as he runs like a mad man away from the supermarket, but thankfully, he looks okay. Leo opens the door and climbs out carefully, making sure to pick his gun up off the floor of the car. He smiles at Cris. And just as David steps out of the car, Leo feels the earlier relief that was coursing through him turn to dread. Cris is waving at them, yelling across the parking lot and maybe he had been yelling the entire time trying to warn them because just then, the doors Cris just ran out of burst open. One, two, five.... Leo loses count after that as the zombies keep flooding out of the doors, chasing after Cris. They look hungry and Leo shudders at the thought of what he might look like to them; an appetizer before they start on the main course. Cris is still a few feet away from them, yelling at the top of his lungs and Leo only just pays attention to his words.

"What the fuck are you just standing there for?! Run, DAMN IT! _RUN!_ "

Leo turns and bolts. Or at least he tries to; his ankle is hurting even more now and all he can manage is to pathetically limp away from the oncoming horde of zombies. David comes closer to try and help him but Leo shoves him away. Life threatening situation or not, Leo is not going to accept help from him. Before David can force his arms around Leo or Leo can start preparing his final speech, an arm finds itself around Leo's shoulders and another grips him behind his knees, effectively scooping him up off the tarmac. It takes a while for Leo to realize that Cris is carrying him in his arms and sprinting away from the oncoming zombies who seem to be getting dangerously closer to them. If they weren’t in such a fucked up situation, Leo's pretty sure he would’ve died of embarrassment.

Cris looks down at him with concern; probably taking note of the way Leo tries his best to curl his injured shoulder away from Cris' chest and the way he winces with every step Cris makes. Cris then turns to David who is running alongside them and fixes him with an absolutely venomous glare.

"What happened to taking care of him?" Cris spits out and Leo frowns, suddenly confused. It's not the question itself but the way Cris asks it; like it's some sort of dark secret he's sharing with David. What has Leo even more on edge is the way David doesn't answer but tenses up like it's clear he doesn't want to be having this conversation. Leo has no idea what's going on but he's pretty sure he's not going to like it if he finds out.

 

They keep running, passing cars that are cannibalized and too wrecked to even be used for a last minute escape until they stumble onto the main road. Cris is sweating and he looks winded. Leo knows it's his fault; he may be tiny but he's not light. And while Cris has a stunning amount of stamina, Leo's extra weight is definitely taking its toll on him. Leo sighs. He knows he really has no choice now; he's the injured one, he's slowing them down, it makes sense if he stays behind so the zombies are distracted long enough for David and Cris to escape. Leo looks up at Cris and can see how he's struggling, he can feel his eyes burning as he opens his mouth to say what he wants to.

Cris speaks up before Leo can even get a word out.

"Shut up Leo," Cris huffs out. Leo just gapes at him for a moment.

"I haven't even said anything," Leo points out and Cris glares at him.

"But I damn well know what you're thinking. And you need to stop it because there's no way in hell I'm letting you out of my sight again," Cris sounds more annoyed than anything else as he wheezes the words out but Leo can't help the warm feeling that spreads all through him. Neither can he help the smile that blooms across his face.

"Okay?" Cris asks while eyeing him. Leo nods.

"Okay."

"Good," Cris tells him. "Now how 'bout you use that gun of yours to help out. We've got some more company."

Leo looks over Cris' shoulder and yeah, they're still being chased, but when he looks back at the road they're sprinting down, he sees what Cris was referring to. More zombies.

Oh great. What a brilliant day this is turning out to be.

 

Leo takes aim as best as he can with an injured shoulder – and the fact that he’s being carried – and fires. He takes down a few and from the corner of his eye watches as David starts firing his own gun. It's not nearly enough. Leo doesn't have an extra magazine and David probably has a handful of bullets in his pocket at most. Cris is out of ammo; his shotgun can be used as a club if need be but that's all. They don't say it out loud but they're all thinking it: they're not gonna live through this. Leo can feel Cris slowing down and he can hear David cursing as he loads his gun with the last of his bullets. Leo's losing hope but he still keeps firing, ignoring the way his shoulder feels like its being sawed off. He doesn't want to fucking die like this!

Then out of nowhere, David yells, "Look, over there!"

Leo turns to where he's pointing and suddenly feels hopeful all over again. There's a red jeep there that looks to be in perfect condition as opposed to all the others that they've passed. Cris fueled by a sudden renewed burst of adrenalin, picks up pace and so does David as they make a mad dash towards the jeep. Leo keeps gunning zombies down and as they near the jeep he looks at it and shudders; it only looks red now because of all the blood splattered on it, it was probably yellow at some point. When they finally make it, Cris throws Leo into the back seat and clambers into the driver’s seat while David jumps into the passenger’s seat.

 _Thank god for small miracles_ Leo thinks _the keys are still in ignition!_

"Leo, keep firing!" Cris orders as he keeps trying to start the jeep up. Leo looks at David who is actually using Cris' shotgun as a club to whack down zombies who get close enough. Leo blinks a few times at the absurdity of that before he gets back to business himself. His shoulder's still aching up a storm and the dull throb in his ankle is enough to be distracting, but Leo doesn't let that stop him. They're so close to making it out of this and Leo will be damned if he can't fire a gun 'cause of an injured shoulder.

After what feels like a terrifying eternity - but is probably just half a minute - Cris finally manages to get the jeep running and pulls onto the road, mowing down anything in his way as he speeds the hell away from this place. Leo thinks it's just in time too because he's out of ammo. There are two zombies hanging on to the back of the jeep however and Leo manages to kick one of but gets caught by the other. He squeezes his eyes shut just as he sees that the damned things teeth are about to sink into his arm but a loud _smack!_ startles him and his eyes snap open in time to see a severed zombie head sail across the air and disappear out of sight; the body it was attached to moments ago still clutching onto him. Leo kicks it off hurriedly and barely even cares about all the blood that's staining him. He looks behind him to see David breathing almost as heavily as him and wielding Cris' shotgun turned club. His face as shocked and terrified as Leo's probably is.

"Thanks," Leo says because at that moment, it's all that comes to mind and he’s still mad at David. David nods in acknowledgment.

"Don't mention it," David tells him as he slumps back in his seat and closes his eyes, chest heaving as he tries to get his breathing under control. Cris looks tense as he keeps his eyes fixed on the road ahead of him. Leo reaches over to give his shoulders a reassuring squeeze and Cris turns his head slightly to give him a tired smile before turning back again. He looks slightly distant, a small frown marring his otherwise perfect features. Leo wants to ask him what’s wrong but he holds his tongue; there’ll be time for that later.

Leo decides to just stretch out in the back seat; groaning as his aches resurface with a renewed passion. He watches the blue sky above them as they drive through the ruins of a once thriving town and it doesn't take long for fatigue to catch up with him.

Sighing in relief, Leo closes his eyes and let’s himself drift off into a dreamless sleep.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> "Okay?"
> 
> "Okay."
> 
> I'm sorry but I just couldn't help myself ;)
> 
> Don't worry, I'm working on the next chapter (I was gonna add more to this chap but I didn't wanna drag it out). Should be up in a few hours..... or a day. Or maybe two days... Depends when I'm done with it :)
> 
> Also, completely unrelated but who Loves Nico di Angelo?!! He's like my fav fictional character ever jfc!!!!


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "When I..." Leo starts shakily, "..when I thought that I'd lost you, I realized that I didn't want to live either."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I have FINALLY finished this damn chapter, so here, enjoy it!
> 
> I sincerely hope the length of this chapter makes up for the delay.

Cristiano curses softly under his breath when he notices that the fuel tank’s almost empty. This is not good news under normal circumstances but now, when they're almost nearing the city of Madrid, it's even worse. Their ride barely provides any warmth or protection as it is and driving through a densely populated city full of cannibalistic corpses is the last thing they need. Especially considering the fact that they have no weapons; everything had been left back in the car they had to abandon. All thanks to David. That bastard!

The sky overhead is an inky black and the bright artificial lights of a dead city make it hard to spot stars in the night sky. But Cris isn't too busy stargazing; he's on the lookout for a proper car and a place where he can pick up some weapons because he's not just going to drive through Madrid without looking for his friends. That's why they're here in the first place, despite the tiny voice in Cris' head that keeps insisting that his friends are dead. Or undead. Whatever the hell it is now.

Cris sighs and rubs a tired hand over his face; he's been driving for hours now and he's drained. He looks over at David beside him, sleeping soundly. Cris had considered waking him up some time back so he could rest for a bit, but in the end he had thought better of it; he wasn't going to make the same mistake twice. He had trusted that asshole despite his better judgment - and only because he was Leo's best friend - and in the end, David had dumped his ass in the supermarket and tried to make off with Leo. Of course his plan didn't quite work out the way he'd hoped because Cris was still alive, but the damage was done. David was just lucky that Cris had been out of ammo when he made it back to them or he would've had a hole in his head by now.

Cris had also considered waking up Leo but that idea was quickly dashed as he recalled the way the younger male had been wincing when he had to use his right hand. He'd probably hurt himself when David crashed their car. And even if Cris was considering letting David off for what he had done to him - only for Leo's sake - he definitely wasn't letting him off that easily for being the cause of Leo's injury.

Cristiano turns back to take a quick look at Leo before he fixes his gaze on the road again.

Leo's hair whips around in the breeze, fanning wildly over his pale face. His skin looks even paler than usual, almost sickly and that's probably because of the pain he's in. Cris' grip around the steering wheel tightens. Because of David's stupidity, because of his jealousy, he had nearly lost Leo today. It doesn't matter that he had nearly died as well; the thought of anything happening to his Leo is more than he can take. Cris sends a glare in David's direction, not for the first time wondering if he could get away with opening the door and pushing him out of the moving vehicle. With a huff of distaste, Cris turns his attention back to the road, barely restraining his fury.

He makes a mental note to raid a medical store if he comes across one; Leo definitely needs some medical attention.

Cris keeps his eyes peeled; driving around cars that are lying haphazardly on the streets and picking up speed whenever a zombie decides to play tag. A few minutes pass until Cris spots a car dealership up ahead, its large glass display windows splattered with dried blood. He perks up instantly, his tiredness washing away as he drives up to the showroom.

"Leo?" he calls, softly at first then a little more urgently. "Leo. Leo wake up, quick!"

Cris hears him groan in the back seat and then smiles a little as Leo’s sleepy voice fills Cris' ears.  
"Wha' happen'?" he slurs.

"We're ditching the jeep," he informs Leo as he looks at him in the rear view mirror, smiling slightly as he watches Leo blink a few times. "We're low on fuel and this jeep isn't safe enough for a drive through the city."

Leo mumbles something and shifts a little in his seat. Cris turns to David and smacks him on his arm - a little too forcefully - and startles him awake.

"What?" David grunts and Cris can feel his anger start to flare. He doesn't meet Cris' gaze and that satisfies him a little. _Good_ Cris thinks _the bastard's feeling guilty_.

"We're getting a new ride," Cris tells him as he stops right in front of the showroom.

Everyone springs into action without being told to, grabbing their useless weapons before they climb out of the jeep. Cris however, has to help Leo as they rush inside, not wanting to catch anything's attention. David keeps his distance for obvious reasons as he follows behind them.

The dealership is thankfully empty. Zombies obviously don't have much use for cars.

Cris runs over to the first car he deems acceptable enough; an SUV. Or a black Chevrolet Traverse to be exact. He helps Leo into the passenger seat and walks around to get into the driver's seat when David walks up to him.

"Maybe I should drive," he tells Cris. "You need to get some rest."

Cris scoffs and shakes his head at David’s pathetic attempt at reconciliation. "No thanks," he tells David. Cris is tired, not stupid.

David frowns at that, his eyes conveying the guilt and regret he so obviously is trying not to show. He’s wrong if he thinks that by suddenly being nice he can make up for what happened earlier. Cris can barely refrain from hitting him as he frowns.

"Jus-" David tries once again but Cris cuts him off.

"I'm driving," his tone brokers no argument. "Don't worry; I'll get some rest when we stop for the night. Which is something we definitely need to do."

Cris pointedly turns to look at Leo and enjoys the way David seems to tense up. Leo's looking at them with worry written all over his features. Cris gives him a small smile, ignoring David as he gets into the car. David's frown deepens as he shuffles into the seat behind Cristiano.

Leo looks like he wants to say something but after a while, he just turns his gaze down to his lap, frowning slightly. Cris is a little relieved that he didn't say anything; this situation is tense enough as it is and as much as Cris hates David right now, he doesn't want his best friend to start hating him too. All they have is each other; and while Cris may never really forgive David, he's not going to be the one to end Leo and David's friendship. No matter how much David deserves it and how much Cris wishes for it.

Cris pulls the sun visor down, grinning triumphantly when the keys fall into his lap. He checks the fuel gauge, noticing that it's not empty but won't be able to get them further than a few kilometers at most. He definitely needs to find a petrol station.

With one last look at Leo, Cris starts up the car and drives out of the dealership, trying his best to ignore the presence of David in the backseat.

*

Cris parks the car right outside the door of the motel. It's small and obscure enough that they won't have trouble defending it if need be. They managed to refuel and raid a few stores on their way but sadly they didn’t find any place where they could stock up on weapons. They’ll have to do that in the morning but for now, all they have are three different types of guns with no bullets. It’s not much but it’s definitely something.

"Alright, let's check in," he says with forced enthusiasm. Cris is so tired right now he's sure that if they don't find a bed soon, he is going to keel over. Driving for almost nine hours straight is no god damn joke. Especially after a so called friend betrays you and you then have a near death experience. Yeah, not fun.

Cris gets out of the car but not before he grabs his bag pack and slings it over his shoulders. It's filled with medical supplies which are mainly for Leo and new clothes because they really need a change. Leo struggles but makes it out of the car, his gun clutched in one hand and Cristiano's shotgun slung over his shoulder. David follows next, carrying two bags filled with canned food and water that they nicked from a nearby store. Cris glares at him before he takes his shotgun from Leo and kicks the door open, stepping inside the motel.

"Hello," he calls loudly, just to be annoying. "Is anybody home?"

He hears Leo scoff from behind him and can imagine David's scowl. Cris just smiles, even though nothing's funny, walks up to the front desk and repeatedly keeps pressing the bell that's on it. He keeps doing that for a long time.

"Cris," Leo chides gently and Cris just turns around to give him a huge grin.

"This place has shitty service," he says seriously even though he means it to be a joke. Leo doesn't look like he finds that funny and neither does David. Cris really doesn't give a fuck about him anymore though.

"Let's just check the place out, make sure it's safe and then get a fucking room so we can all rest," Leo tells him, his tone soft but very irritated, and Cris knows it's because of his injuries.

Cris sobers up quickly but not before throwing a dirty look at David who at least has the decency to look contrite.

"Yeah, sorry," Cris says, offering Leo an apologetic look before he holds up his gun - still no ammo, mind you - and checks the entire place. He finds nothing.

"Let's head upstairs," Cris says, and walks up the flight of stairs with Leo and David trailing behind him. The few rooms downstairs are too dirty to use and they don’t offer much protection in case zombies manage to break through the front doors in the middle of the night.

The stairs lead up to a narrow, dimly lit corridor with numerous doors on either side. The place has a horrible stench that Cris can only associate with a rotting corpse. He motions for Leo to stay close as he kicks open the first door on his right. Cris immediately regrets it; lying on the floor, a few feet away from the bed, is a body. Or at least it was a body at some point. Now, it’s nothing more than a mound of rotting green flesh and bones. Cris closes the door quickly. He swallows down his nausea and walks to the room opposite this one; no one says a word. He swings the door open, noting the lack of a rotting corpse with a little relief and walks further into the room to inspect it. The bed, carpet and walls are caked with dried blood and Cris grimaces as he turns to face Leo and David; they can’t sleep in this one either.

Low groans from somewhere down the corridor make all three of them freeze.

Cris runs up to the door where Leo and David are standing absolutely still, staring down the corridor. Cris trains his gaze on what they’re looking at and feels his blood run cold at the same time as anger starts bubbling up within him; he’s had enough of fucking zombies for a day. The zombie quickens its pace as it shuffles towards them on its awkwardly bent legs; hands outstretched and mouth open as it makes a noise somewhere between a groan and a gurgle. Leo and David tense up, preparing to make a run for it, but Cristiano is completely done. He hefts his shotgun; brandishing it as a spear and then charges the zombie with an angry snarl.

He can hear Leo and David’s horrified gasps as he pierces through the zombie’s neck with the muzzle of his gun. The undead chokes and gasps as it tries desperately to claw at Cris’ hands; still hoping to get a bite out of him. Cris doesn’t give it a chance to. With all his might, he pushes until the zombie somehow ends up on its back and with a yell, Cris grips the butt of his gun and pushes as hard as he can. A shotgun isn’t ideal for beheading zombies but Cris somehow manages to make it work. He hoists his gun up again, ignoring the mess on the barrel and checks each of the remaining rooms in record time. Thank god there are no more zombies. By the time Cris’ decided which rooms they’re going to use, he’s breathing heavily and his anger seems to have cooled down a bit. He walks over to Leo and David who are still standing rooted in the hallway, watching him with equal measures of concern and awe.

“The rooms at the end of the hall are the cleanest,” he says, looking at Leo. "We can take the one on the right. David can take the one on the left."

Leo stands there gaping at him for a few seconds longer. His eyes go from Cris to the beheaded zombie lying on the floor and back again. Finally, he nods shakily and follows Cris to their room for the night.

Cris doesn't bother addressing David.

Cris shuts the door behind Leo after he enters the relatively clean room. No bloodstains, no rotting corpse, no broken furniture - just a little dusty and damp smelling but otherwise, its okay. As long as the bed's relatively clean, Cris gives a damn about anything else.

"Cris," he turns to his side to look at Leo, who gestures to his bloody clothes and then to his injured shoulder.

"Could you, maybe....?" Cris rolls his eyes with a small smile as he throws his gun down and begins to carefully help Leo slip out of his jacket and t-shirt. Once his shirt comes off, Cris can’t help but cringe at the sight of Leo's injured shoulder. It doesn't look broken or anything but Leo's pale skin has turned a dark shade of purple; the bruise covering his shoulder almost entirely. Cris can feel his blood boiling again, can feel the hatred for David flare up, the need to hurt him growing stronger every second he stares at Leo's shoulder and he quashes that with difficulty.

"Does it hurt?" he asks as he gently trails his fingers over the bruise. Leo raises his eyebrows and gives Cris a pointed look. Cris feels like an idiot.

"There are some painkillers in my bag," Cris mumbles as he shrugs his bag of off his shoulders but is stopped by Leo's tired sigh.

"Cris, I'd really like a bath first so just hand me some clean clothes and we can worry about the rest later."

Cris wants to argue but he bites his tongue and gives Leo what he wants. Leo thanks him and heads into the shower and a moment later Cris can hear the sound of running water.

He stands there for a minute, stewing away in the relative silence before he finally decides to calm down and go and get some food and water from David.

*

When Leo steps out from the bathroom in a pair of clean boxers, a new t-shirt and thankfully free of zombie blood, Cris is sitting on the bed wolfing down a can of baked beans. He looks up at Leo with his cheeks stuffed like a squirrel and shrugs a little guiltily. But Leo isn’t mad that Cris didn’t wait for him; they haven’t eaten anything since last night after all. Which was exactly why they had gone on a raid this morning but unfortunately that didn’t end up going so well.

Leo scowls and plops down on the bed next to Cris, his thoughts going back to the events of this morning as picks up a can of baked beans for himself. Cris offers Leo a spoon once he gets the can open and digs into his own food again once Leo starts eating. Leo hardly has an appetite but he eats his food in silence as he lets the events of the day play over and over in his head.

Leo has mixed feelings about the whole thing. Leo wants to believe that David had only been doing what Cris had asked of him but he can’t because the whole thing doesn’t add up somehow. And then Leo can’t quite bring himself to believe that David would do something so cruel both because this is David and he is Leo’s best friend for Christ’s sake! He sighs and shovels his food into his mouth, finishing his dinner in record time. Once he’s polished off the can of baked beans, Cris quietly just hands him dessert; canned peaches. Yum. He wolfs that down too, not sure if he’s inhaling his food because his hunger is finally catching up with him or if he’s just trying to busy himself with something other than his chaotic emotions. Cris hands Leo some painkillers and a bottle of water once he throws the empty can aside. He watches Leo with an unreadable expression as he pops the pills into his mouth and swallows. Once Leo’s done, he finally remembers to relax and just breathe for a while.

Cris seems to have finished off his own food as well and is now just sitting and staring at Leo as if he can’t quite decide what to say. Leo doesn’t know what to say either. There are so many questions he wants to ask Cris but he doesn’t know where to start. He stares at Cris for what feels like forever; trying to decide on what to ask him first while Cris just sits there, back resting against the headboard as he waits patiently for Leo to get it together. Leo’s about to ask Cris if he really did tell David to just leave him behind and go when he notices it. The left side of Cris’ jaw is bruised and slightly swollen and Leo just knows that he didn’t pick that up while fighting zombies. Leo's heart falls. He feels angry, disappointed and scared all at once.

“What happened?” he asks softly and lets his gaze linger on Cris’ bruised jaw so that there’s no confusion as to just what he’s inquiring about. Cris closes his eyes and lets out a tired sigh, running a hand through his hair. He opens his eyes and stares at Leo while he gives him a small smile that morphs into a grin when Leo frowns at him.

“Nothing,” he shrugs. Cris’ nonchalance is forced, Leo can tell. He just wishes that Cris would drop the act and tell him exactly what had happened in that god damn supermarket. It's not like Leo won't be able to handle the truth; he may not like it, sure, but he damn well deserved to know.

“Cris I need to,” he voice cracks a little and Leo has to take a deep breath before he can continue. “I need you to tell me what happened today.” It’s halfway between a plea and a demand.

Cris is still smiling but it looks strained now. He shrugs again.

“I already told you, nothi-“ Leo cuts him off with a frustrated groan.

“God! Cris, don’t fucking lie to me,” the smile falls from Cris’ face as Leo continues

“I nearly lost you today and I……. why won’t you just tell me what happened? I need to know….. I need to….” Leo buries his head in his hands to hide the way his eyes are clouding over with tears. He lets out a frustrated growl, barely holding back from ripping his own hair out.

He’s so frustrated about the situation he’s in and Cris won’t even give him a straight answer. He bites his lips to keep himself from yelling out and fists his hands in his hair to keep from punching Cris. A minute or so later Leo hears Cris grumble something under his breath and he hears the sheets rustle, feels the mattress dip as Cris moves closer to him and gently pries his hands away.

Leo can't think of anything to say, he keeps his gaze fixed on his and Cris' intertwined hands and focuses on the erratic thud of his heartbeats as he tries to hold back his sobs. Finally, after a while, he decides to tell Cris the truth about how he had really felt today.

"When I..." Leo starts shakily, "..when I thought that I'd lost you, I realized that I didn't want to live either." His grip on Cristiano's hands tighten. "I wanted to e-"

Leo doesn't have a chance to complete his sentence because Cris is kissing him then; rough, demanding and deep. Leo's surprise lasts for all of one second before he's kissing Cris back. He squeezes his eyes shut, the tears he'd been holding back finally falling down his cheeks. Cris lets go of Leo's hands so he can cup his face and pull him closer; his kiss turning more and more desperate. As if he needs to make sure that this is real, that Leo won't suddenly vanish into thin air. Leo grips onto the front of Cris' shirt, opening his mouth when he feels Cris swipe his tongue across his bottom lip. Cris wastes no time, pushing his tongue into Leo’s mouth so he can taste every inch of him. Leo's lets him have complete control. 

They pull apart once the need for air becomes pressing. Cris rests his forehead against Leo's as breathes in some much needed oxygen, his lips already look bruised and swollen. His eyes are darker than they'd been just moments ago.

"It's okay," Cris tells Leo after he manages to catch his breath, using both his thumbs to wipe away Leo's tears as his hands still cup his face gently. "I'm here."

It sounds like Cris is trying to convince himself as much as he's trying to convince Leo of the fact that he's alright. That he's made it and they're safe and sound and most importantly; _together_. Leo nods, breathing as heavily as Cris.

"I'm here," Cris repeats and then his lips find Leo's again.

The kiss is even more rough and demanding than the first; no finesse, just teeth and tongue. But Leo doesn't care one bit. He knows that Cris needs to feel something, _anything_ , other than the fear that's coursing through his veins right now; the fear of having nearly lost a loved one. Cris needs a distraction as much as Leo does, maybe even more so. He needs to get his mind off the dark thoughts that are no doubt plaguing him after today's incident.

Cris breaks the kiss abruptly, moving away from Leo and stripping out of his clothes with hurried movements. Once he's down to his underwear, Cris grips the hem of Leo's shirt and, forgetting about Leo's injured shoulder in the heat of the moment, pulls it off rather harshly. Leo can't help the pained gasp that leaves his lips.

Cris freezes, his eyes clearing a little as he looks at Leo with a horrified expression. 

"Shit!" Cris curses. "Leo, shit, I am so sorry. I didn't mean to.... I'm sorry. I'm so sorry."

Leo stands up and presses a soft kiss to Cris' lips, effectively shutting him up. "It's fine," he says as he gives Cris a warm smile. Cris looks like he's about to go off on a rant about how not fine it is, and Leo really doesn't have the patience for that sort of thing right now. Leo pushes Cris onto the bed until he's lying flat on his back and then straddles his waist, bringing their lips together in a fierce kiss once again. 

Taking advantage of Cris' surprise Leo manages to slip his tongue into Cris' mouth, enjoying being in control for once. He grinds his growing erection against Cris', causing both of them to groan into the kiss. Leo digs his fingers into Cris' shoulders, pressing down against him again, enjoying the way Cris squirms beneath him. He breaks the kiss, moaning as he keeps grinding their erections together, but, like it always is with Cris, Leo's dominance is short lived.

Cris flips them over and uses his weight to press Leo into the mattress. Leo winces at the sudden pressure on his shoulder but Cris, thankfully doesn't notice it this time. He immediately latches onto Leo's neck, biting and sucking up marks that Leo's sure will be livid against his skin tomorrow. 

Leo lets out a loud moan when Cris latches onto a particularly sensitive spot, biting so hard that Leo's sure he's going to break skin. Leo doesn't tell Cris to stop though. He tangles a hand in Cris' hair, letting out loud moans to spur Cris on. He pushes his hips up against Cris, searching for some friction, and is rewarded when Cris grinds down against him, groaning into his neck as he places a final, gentle kiss there before leaning up to look into Leo’s eyes.

Cris looks wild; his eyes, normally so warm and mischievous, are now so full of fire that Leo feels like he could get burned. Cris looks at Leo like he's just seconds away from devouring him, and Leo can feel his arousal growing even stronger with the way Cris' looking at him.

"Leo, I need you to know that I'm not going to be gentle. Not tonight," Cris says after what feels agonizingly like forever. Leo has to bite back a moan at that because damn it, he doesn't care. It's been so long since they've been together like this, that Leo wouldn't even care if Cris said he wanted to fuck him dry.

"Okay," Leo says, desperately clutching onto Cris' shoulders. "Okay."

It's like Cris was waiting for Leo to say just that. With sloppy, jerky movements he tugs Leo's boxers off and throws it over his shoulder, taking a few seconds to admire Leo's cock as slaps against his pale stomach. Cris doesn't look for much longer; he pulls his own underwear off, throwing it down onto the floor without caring much about where it would land.

Then, taking Leo completely by surprise, Cris shoves three fingers into Leo’s mouth. Leo understands without being told and gets to work wetting Cris' fingers as best as he can; swirling his tongue around each digit separately, making sure each one is thoroughly coated in saliva. While he's so focused on the fingers in his mouth, Cris grips Leo's throbbing erection with one hand and then, with out so much as a warning, swallows Leo down until he's hitting the back of his throat.

Leo's surprised moan is muffled by the fingers in his mouth. He bucks his hips up; fucking into Cris' mouth as he bobs his head up and down on Leo's dick. But before Leo can completely enjoy the feeling of Cris' mouth on him, Cris is pulling off. Leo whines, all high pitched and needy, bucking his hips up in search of that sinful mouth. He almost bites down on Cris' fingers in frustration but stops himself at the last moment. 

Cris wasn't kidding when he said that he wasn't going to be gentle because from one moment to the next, Cris pulls his fingers out of Leo's mouth and shoves two saliva coated fingers into Leo’s hole. The sudden, harsh intrusion causes Leo to wince and tense up. Cris puts a hand on Leo's hip to steady him as he fucks him with his fingers; making quick work of stretching him. Leo relaxes his muscles as Cris stretches him, moaning when Cris' fingers press hard against his prostate. The moment Leo starts moving his hips to get Cris' fingers to go deeper, Cris adds a third finger. He stretches Leo as best as he can, even though Leo knows he's getting impatient, while he moves up Leo's body to smash their lips together, swallowing the sounds Leo makes as Cris' fingers work him open. Leo shifts a little bit so that he can relieve some pressure on his injured shoulder. 

Cris seems to take that as a sign that Leo's ready, so he pulls away and slips his fingers out of Leo. He spits onto his palm, and then starts stroking his dick to coat it as throughly as he can. Leo watches with anticipation clawing at the back of his throat as Cris spreads his legs wider and gets in between them, using the hand that's not holding onto Leo's hip, to guide his cock to Leo's opening. Leo makes a split second decision just as he feels the head of Cris' dick press against his hole.

"Cris wait," Leo says. Cris looks like he's having a hard time waiting. "Just let me..." Leo sits up then and gestures for Cris to change his position so that he's sitting with his back against the headboard. Once he’s settled, Leo climbs onto his lap.

"Your shoulder," Cris realizes. He places his hands on Leo's hips, dropping a small, delicate kiss onto Leo's injured shoulder.

Leo nods as he places one hand onto Cris' shoulder, using the other to guide Cris' dick to his entrance. With a quite sigh, Leo starts sinking down slowly but Cris has other ideas because he digs his fingers into Leo’s hips and slams him down onto his cock. Leo moans so loudly, he's sure that his voice just carried over to the other end of the city.

Cris doesn't give Leo a chance to adjust as he starts fucking him roughly; hard, deep, thrusts that Leo feels right down to his bones. Leo digs his nails into Cris' shoulders, breaking skin as Cris pounds into him relentlessly. Leo tries moving in time with Cris' brutal thrusts but he needn't have tried; Cris seems happy to do work enough for the both of them as he uses his grip on Leo's hips to bounce him up and down on his dick.

Leo throws his head back and moans loud enough for the both of them, only vaguely noting that Cris is never this silent during sex. Cris seems like he's off in another world; his head buried in Leo's neck as he lets out barely audible grunts of pleasure. Leo's moans become so loud, it's like he's basically screaming; chanting Cris name over and over along with _yes's_ and _oh god's_ as Cris keeps ramming into him, hitting his prostate with every other thrust and making Leo see stars.

It isn't long before Leo can feel himself getting closer to the edge, the heat in the pit of his stomach becoming almost unbearable as Cris keeps up his punishing pace. Leo can tell Cris is close to, with the way his thrusts have become sloppier and the way he's breathing heavily against Leo's neck. With a few more thrusts, Leo reaches his peak, spilling his seed on Cris and his stomachs, making a mess and moaning through his orgasm as waves of complete ecstasy wash over him.

Cris is following Leo over the edge shortly after; spurting his seed into Leo’s clenching, abused hole. Leo slumps against Cris, completely boneless, as he feels Cris fill him up with his come.

They stay like that for what feels like forever, breathing heavily as they try and get their heart rates back to normal. Leo feels completely spent, and he doesn't realize that he's dozing off until Cris gently shakes him awake.

"Let's clean up first," he tells Leo with a small smile, his voice thick with exhaustion. Leo nods and winces when Cris pulls out of him. He places Leo on the bed, who falls back against the pillows immediately, shutting his eyes as Cris climbs off and picks up his shirt from the floor. 

Leo tries his best to keep his eyes open as Cris makes his way over to the bathroom. A moment later he comes back with his shirt hanging wet between his fingers. Cris smiles at Leo as he wipes his stomach clean, quickly wiping between Leo's cheeks as well, to clean up the mess there. Leo winces at how sore he feels, mentally musing that he'd be limping even more so than usual now.

Once Cris is done, Leo turns onto his side, keeping pressure off his injured shoulder and closes his eyes. He can hear Cris rummaging around for something in his bag, and a moment later feels Cris settle in behind him, throwing a sheet over the both of them.

Leo smiles as Cris drapes an arm over his waist and presses a kiss to the back of his neck.

"I love you," he mummers.

"Love you too," Leo whispers sleepily and then he's out like a light bulb.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I will probably add one last short chapter because Cris still hasn't explained what actually happened. 
> 
> God, when I started this I had no idea it would turn out to be so long!! 
> 
> Also, I would like to apologize for the poorly written sex :/


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "It's not the thought of physical separation," Cris say with a sad smile, gripping Leo's hand in his. "It's the thought of emotional separation that scares him."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Finally!! The last chapter!!
> 
> I haven't edited this because I'm too sleepy to do it now (I stayed up all night just so I could finally finish this chapter and post it) so excuse the mistakes and stuff. 
> 
> Also, this chapter is for [reynkout](http://archiveofourown.org/users/reynkout/pseuds/reynkout) whose comment actually gave me the final push I needed to finish this chapter.
> 
> Thank you! You amazing person :)

Cristiano sits in the car, legs cocked up on the dashboard, as he gazes out of the windshield at the street ahead of him. Everything seems so... normal; the street lights are lit and there's a calm, tranquil sort of feel to how quite it is, like it normally would be at three a.m. when people would be asleep in their homes. Except it isn't. The city isn't sleeping, it's dead and has been that way for some time now. Just like the rest of the world; dead with no way of restoring it.

Cris rubs his eyes; he's so tired but he can't seem to sleep. Leo had fallen asleep quite quickly, no doubt tired after their activities, but he also assumes that it was because he'd been through more of an ordeal than David or Cris. Mentally and Physically.

Cris really hates David for putting him through that. Cris just hates David.

Cris sighs and twirls the unlit cigarette in his hand, tempted to light it and indulge for a bit, but he won't. He'd given up habits such as these long ago and he isn't going to start now just because the world's gone to shit. No matter how tempting it may be.

Instead of putting it between his lips like he wants to, Cris slips the cigarette back into his pocket. He stretches a little, wincing at the ache in his back because of how awkwardly he'd been sitting, and makes himself comfortable. He sits there for a very long time, drowsy and so tired, but unable to fall asleep.

All Cristiano's thought churn around restlessly in his head; about his family, about his friends, about Leo, about David. He doesn't know how long he sits like that, letting his thoughts run rampant, but once it starts to get bright, Cris decides that he should probably head back inside and at least try to sleep for a few hours. He makes little noise as he gets out of the car and locks it, hurrying into the motel and silently making his way upstairs, towards the room he and Leo are sharing. He pointedly ignores the beheaded zombie lying on the floor.

Cris walks into the room as silently qs he can, hoping not to wake Leo, but is surprised to find Leo sitting with his hands in his head, the sheet wrapped around him like a cocoon, his rapid breathing incredibly loud to Cris' ears. It only takes Cris a second to rush to Leo's side, sitting down beside him on the bed, and placing a hand on his shoulder. He tries not to feel hurt when Leo flinches away because he knows how Leo gets after his nightmares; all closed off and distant. He can see the tears that are rolling down Leo's cheeks, can see how his body shakes as he sobs silently and his heart aches. He feels helpless as he sits beside Leo, afraid to touch him because he might induce a panic attack. The only person Leo allows near him when he's like this is David, but Cris isn't going to call him because it's his fault Leo's like this now. And he doubts Leo will be happy to see him.

Cris really hates David.

"Leo?" Cris calls tentatively, his fingers just inches away from Leo's shoulder but not touching. Leo tense and scoots a little further from Cris. Cris sighs and brings his hand to rest on his lap.

"Leo," Cris tries again. "It's fine. You just had a nightmare, okay? It's fine, you're fine."

"Nightmare," Leo mumbles, his voice soft and fragile. "Just a nightmare." He sounds as if he’s talking to himself, trying to convince himself that what he just dreamt about was not real. Cris doesn't need to guess what the nightmare had been about. The recent horrors that they've been through still fresh in his mind. It must be worse for Leo though; he'd nearly lost Cris today, and was probably still feeling conflicted about his best friend's betrayal.

"Yeah, just a nightmare," Cris says with a smile, ignoring the pang he feels when he thinks about the fact that this is Leo's first nightmare in months. "Just a bad dream. It's not real."

Leo drops his head onto his knees, taking deep breaths to calm himself. Leo stays like that for a long time, and Cris doesn't move either. They sit in silence and Cris thinks that maybe Leo's fallen asleep, but Leo moves then, slowly and cautiously, and lies back down, staring up at the ceiling. The room is gradually turning brighter and Cris can make out the tear stains on Leo's pale cheeks.

Cris really, really hates David.

He sighs and runs a hand through his hair, knowing that he's not going to get any real sleep now, while he can see Leo suffering. Cris slowly stretches out on the bed beside Leo, putting some space in between them even though it kills him to do so.

He stares up at the ceiling and waits for Leo to calm down enough so that Cris can actually talk to him. It takes a while, a very long while, and the room is very bright and Cris can feel his eyes burning because he's tired and he can't sleep, and h--

"Tell me about what happened."

Leo startles Cris when he speaks up suddenly. He turns to look at him but Leo's still staring up at the ceiling. Cris sighs for the umpteenth time and considers telling Leo the truth but he knows he can't. Leo may want to hear the truth, may even deserve to know it, but Cris can’t quite handle seeing Leo like this all the time.

And he knows if he tells Leo the truth, it will destroy him.

So Cris pushes his hatred for David to the back of his mind, squashes down the urge to just tell Leo the truth about what a lying fuck David is, and does something he knows is for the best.

At least for Leo.

  
***

  
"You know why he's so pissed off, right?"

Cris asks instead of directly getting to the point. He needs time to figure out what he's going to say after all.

"No," Leo grumbles, running a hand through his hair. "I really, really, don't know what his _damn_  problem is!"

_"...... He's in love with you."_

Cris wants to say it. He nearly does as well, but stops himself at the very last moment. He doesn't think he can say it because he's selfish; he's only known Leo for a few months, but David, he's know Leo for years. They've always been close and Cris just knows that has to count for something. He's scared that if Leo knows how David truly feels about him he might just.....

Cris sighs. Leo's still looking at him expectantly, waiting for an answer.

"It's because of me," Cris says, knowing that what he's saying is not that far off from the truth either. "It's because of us."

Leo frowns, looking incredulous. "Because of us?" he asks. "Why?"

"It's because he feels like he's gonna get left behind, like you're suddenly going to cut him off because you have me now."

"But Cris, that's ridiculous. David is.... he's my best friend and I would never, ever, just leave him, or... or cut him off," Leo says, his trembling voice doing nothing to hide the sincerity behind his words.

Cris swallows thickly because this, this is the exact reason why he can't tell Leo the truth. Leo does love David, and while it may not be that kind of love, it could very well get there with a little push. All it would take is Cris blurting out the truth and then that would be it. Leo's guilty conscience about not noticing his best friend's feelings sooner, coupled with the fact that David's all he has - has had for a very long time - would almost guarantee a change in Leo's feelings. On the other hand though, maybe nothing like that would happen, maybe Cris is just over thinking things, but he's not going to take the chance. He's too scared of losing Leo because while Leo and David may have each other, Cris only has Leo.

"I know you wouldn't, Leo," Cris says softly. "It's just that..."

"It's just what?" Leo prompts after Cris is silent for a little too long.

"It's...." Cris takes the time to choose his words carefully. "You and David have been together for years. You both stuck together even when everything went to shit. Even when the both of you were at your lowest, you stuck together. It was just the two of you."

Cris sighs. Scrubs a hand over his face. Continues. "And then I came along, and we... you began spending more time with me even though David was always with us."

"Yeah, exactly," Leo says, sounding frustrated. "He was always with us. Always. So I don't get all this crap about leaving him behind."

"It's not the thought of physical separation," Cris say with a sad smile, gripping Leo's hand in his. "It's the thought of emotional separation that scares him."

_Just like it scares me._

"That's.. I-I..." Leo tries to find words but eventually just snaps his mouth shut and stares up at the mouldy ceiling. Cris can practically hear Leo's thoughts as they tumble around inside his head, can feel Leo's guilt slowly building up as he mulls over Cris' words.

Cris sighs and keeps talking, he doesn't want Leo to wallow in guilt.

"Back at the supermarket," Cris starts and Leo immediately turns to look at him. Cris keeps his eyes fixed on a dark patch on the ceiling. "I kind of had an emotional breakdown. We were collecting supplies, I had walked away from David, further into the place, when I saw... them. I was scared. I panicked."

Leo is deathly silent, hanging off every word Cris says.

"I made it back to David and asked him to run, because at that point of time all I was thinking about was how close you and David were before me, and how I was just a third wheel, ruining your friendship and I...."

Leo opens his mouth to protest, to tell Cris that's not the truth, but Cris shakes his head. Picks up where he left off before Leo can say anything.

"David was furious, obviously. He punched me," Cris taps against the bruise on his jaw, "called me stupid, and was dragging me out when I.... I threatened to shoot him."

Leo gasps, horrified, and Cris feels sick because he's lying and Leo believes him. He actually believes him. But there's no turning back now so Cris soldiers on. For Leo he thinks. Looking like a psycho is a small price to pay if it means that Leo gets to fix things with his best friend. Cris knows David doesn't deserve it, but not having David around, not being able to trust his best friend anymore would destroy Leo. And Cris just wants Leo to be happy, no matter what.

"I fired a warning shot," Cris swallows past the bitter taste in his mouth, the lies sitting heavy on his tongue. "Told him to take care of you, to get you out of here before it was too late. He finally left after he begged me to think things through and I just shoved him away. At that point I wasn't even thinking so I just told him to keep you safe and he left."

"I was suicidal at that point," Cris laughs bitterly, hating that he has to do this, because Leo's squeezing his hand now and he's definitely worried about Cris. Scared, most probably.

"I don't know what changed my mind later on though. I mean, I'm fucking happy that I didn't die, all because I was being an idiot, but I don't..."

Cris huffs, giving up on his lies. He turns to Leo, hating the tears glistening in his eyes, and smiles at him softly.

"Just," Cris swallows, forces the words out of his mouth. "Forgive him, yeah? Forgive David 'cause he clearly hasn't done anything. He was just doing what I asked him too."

Leo's silent for a long time as he stares at Cris. Cris gets the feeling that there’s a lot he wants to say but he has no idea where to start. The silence doesn't work well for Cris because he so desperately wants Leo to know the truth: David punching Cris and holding a gun to his chest. David saying that Leo was his and always had been and that Cris was just a convenient distraction. David saying that with Cris out of the equation, he could take care of Leo like he was supposed to, like he had always been doing. That it would be just the two of them again. David firing a shot and running off, leaving Cris to shoot down those fuckers that come charging round the corner, leaving Cris for dead.

They lay like that for what seems like forever until Leo sighs, defeated, and closes his eyes. Cris hates that he's helping David even after all he's done.

"Okay," Leo says finally, with a small, pained smile. "I feel horrible now because I've been an absolute dick."

 _No_ Cris wants to say, but he bites his tongue. This is for the best.

"Yeah," Cris agrees with a small, forced smile. "You have."

  
***

  
David waits by the driver's side, leaning against the door as the sun shines brightly overhead. Cris and Leo haphazardly throw their bags into the back of the car. He stands with his shoulders hunched, trying to disappear into himself as he watches them share tender smiles that make him feel like an absolute asshole and force him to glare down at his shoes. David knows he fucked up bad - real bad. What he did yesterday was despicable and something so unlike him but he's not going to make excuses for himself. It was a conscious decision - one that he wasn't proud of sure - that he'd made as a last ditch effort to keep Leo.

What David forgot however was that Leo wasn't his to keep. He never was.

"David," he startles a little at that, more than he'd like to admit. He turns to Leo, eyebrows raised in question, trying to play it cool when he's actually terrified. Leo doesn't look as mad as he did yesterday; he looks hesitant, guilty even and David just has to wonder what this is all about. He glances briefly at Cristiano -who is pointedly not looking at him as he arranges their bags and supplies - and then back at Leo, who stands with his hands in his pockets.

"I'm sorry," he says softly. And that, that definitely takes David by surprise because he should be the one apologising and not Leo. David opens his mouth to say as much but Leo rushes to cut him off.

"No, David, please," Leo holds up a hand. "I need you to shut up and let me apologise for being an idiot. I... I'm sorry for assuming things. I'm sorry for not believing you yesterday, when you were actually telling me the truth."

David frowns and Leo must notice that because he gestures back at Cris - who is still ignoring David.

"Cris told me everything," Leo says with a smile, and David just has to wonder because what the hell? What's Cris playing at, trying to save his ass and all. He doesn't deserve this - doesn't deserve a second chance.

"He told me how he was being an idiot. How he said that he'd elected to stay back to give you a chance to escape, because...." here Leo hesitates. "....because he thought that you could take care of me better than he ever could."

And David just has to marvel at that because wow. Just.... Wow! He suddenly feels a whole lot guiltier for doing what he did. He doesn't deserve Cris' gesture of kindness, not after he nearly cost him his life. And he certainly doesn't deserve Leo's friendship because he actually lied to him, something he's sure he never did before. He'd nearly cost Leo his happiness as well because he'd been a selfish bastard.

David can't, he won't, lie to Leo anymore.

"Look, Leo..." David starts to say, but trails off as Cris waves his hand to get his attention. David looks over at him curiously and Cris just shakes his head. Cris flicks his eyes to Leo - who has his back facing him - and then looks back at David. David gets his message: don't say anything for Leo's sake. But David isn't sure he can lie anymore. He knows the truth would mean the end of their friendship, but it's what would serve him right for his stupidity.

David takes a deep breath, wiling himself to just say it, but something in Cris' expression makes him hesitate. And then Cris mouths a silent please and David knows there's nothing he can do. He sighs and looks back at Leo.

"I'm sorry," David says with a heavy sigh, sorry that he's not telling Leo the truth. He's sorry for lying to him again.

"I'm sorry for.... for hurting you."

David isn't just talking about Leo's physical injuries though. He's apologising for everything, even though Leo doesn't know that. He really is sorry, and even if Leo forgives him, he won't ever forgive himself. But come to think of it, Leo isn’t actually forgiving him because Leo doesn't know the truth. Leo doesn't know the person he calls his best friend is actually a monster.

"That was probably my own fault," Leo chuckles softly. "If I didn't overreact like that......"

But you didn't overreact David thinks but holds his tongue.

"....but yeah, apology accepted," Leo holds out his hand like the mature adult he is and David smiles, rolls his eyes but he obliges.

"So....." Leo drawls, not letting go of David's hand. "Am I forgiven, or...?"

"Leo, there is nothing to forgive," David smiles even though it feels like he's dying. "Absolutely nothing."

Leo looks like he wants to argue, but he just shakes his head and smiles at David, all fond and trusting and David feels like someone's crushing his heart. Leo pulls David into a tight hug, and David wraps his arms around Leo, swallowing down the bitter taste of guilt that burns at the back of his throat. His eyes meet Cris' over Leo's shoulder, and they stare at each other until Cris sighs and nods, a silent agreement passing between them to never bring this topic up again. David hates it; this situation he’s gotten himself into, but there's nothing he can do now. He pulls back and smiles at Leo, resenting every second where he has to pretend like he's an innocent victim in all of this, because he's not. He resents the fact that Leo still thinks of David as his best friend, because he's not. He's not that honest person anymore, not that same person that would do anything to make Leo happy.

"This is exactly why you're my best friend," Leo says, beaming at him. "You always know what to say to make me feel better. Even if I'm being an, what is it that you always say? An annoying prick?"

David scoffs, forces his face to split into a huge grin, and prays that this constricting feeling in his chest will go away. He ruffles Leo's hair, but doesn't say anything, because he's afraid that if he tries, he might end up saying something that would rob Leo of that happy smile on his face. Instead, he looks over at Cris, who's looking at the two of them wearily, his shoulders slumped and his mouth set in a straight line.

David walks towards him.

"I..." he starts, but hesitates because Cris looks absolutely tired. In more ways than one and David's not sure apologising to him now would be a good idea. Cris did what he had to for Leo not because he suddenly had a change of heart and decided to forgive the guy who almost got him killed. David knows that Cris will never forgive him, they'll pretend for Leo's sake to be as civil to each other as they were before all of this happened, but Cris will never forgive him. And that's okay because David doesn't think he'll be able to forgive himself either.

"Hey," David says with a heavy sigh. "Maybe I should drive, yeah? You look like shit."

Cris glares at him weakly, looking utterly knackered and it's only a few seconds before he gives in. He sighs and hands the keys over to David.

"We drive to the refugee camp," he instructs David, his eyes clearly conveying distrust and David deserves that. He doubts Cris will ever trust him again. Sure, they didn't like each other very much before either, but at least they respected each other. Now David didn't even have that.

"Got it," David says. He really thinks this whole trip is pointless. Cris' friends are probably all dead by now and there's no guarantee that they're at the Bernabéu even if they are alive, but David knows what a poisonous thing hope can be. So he keeps his mouth shut and scrambles to get into the car.

Leo hops into the passenger seat as usual, smiling brightly at David. David gives him a small smile of his own, almost forgetting to give Leo something that he probably doesn't even realise is lost yet.

"This is yours," David says as he pulls out Leo's phone from his pocket and hands it over to him. Leo looks shocked, and then grateful as he takes his phone from David.

"Thanks," he says sincerely. "I didn't even realise it was gone. Thanks."

David smiles at him again, starting the car when Cris climbs into the back and slams the door shut. He sighs, gripping the steering wheel a little too tight as he begins the ride to the refugee camp, set up inside the Bernabéu. David's grateful to be a here, with Cris and Leo; he's not alone, fighting his way through rotting cannibalistic corpses, when he clearly thought he would be. The journey's going to be long and dangerous, but it's okay.

  
Because a journey through this hell would be even longer alone.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I took way too long to complete this but I am happy: Firstly because this is the single most longest fic I have ever written. And secondly because this is the first chaptered fic that I've actually completed.
> 
> *pats self on back*
> 
> Thanks for taking the time to read this. Also, thanks for commenting and/or leaving Kudos'. I hope you guys stick around for the second (technically the first) part of the series!!


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